DOFSS
by chaomi
Summary: Day-off for Stressed Shinigami. A story about my favorite stressed chibi captain, Hitsugaya Toushirou. No pairings, just hints. Sequel: Hitsugaya Wants Revenge.
1. Chapter 1

**D.O.F.S.S**

_**By: Chaomi**_

_Stress_ is a pain that takes your soul out of your body. Believe me when I say it's a monster that is out to devour you from just living your life happily.

You get wrinkles on your face and you get cranky all the time.

That's the reason why the captain-commander of the Gotei 13 created the _'D.O.F.S.S.'_- **day-off for stressed shinigami**, which the 11th division vice captain suggested, _a day to play games with everyone!_

So, here comes the suffering of our little captain forced into leaving his paper works- which he blissfully obliged, but end up playing dress-up and tea parties from the females. Oh how they adored him...especially on his pink fluffy dress and pink ribbons tying his hair into pigtails! (For crying out loud…KAWAII!!!!!)

Hitsugaya glared at the offending snickering of the male population, watching his demise in the hands of the opposite gender, in their feminine mission of turning him into a little fairy princess on a pony!

Fortunately, his 'pony' seems to be aggravated coz of his 'comfortable' position on the ground.

"Thank god, I have someone to suffer along with this humiliation," Hitsugaya huffed indignantly.

"Right back at ya," Ichigo shrugged miserably.

Ichigo Kurosaki still remembers what happened earlier today. It was a nightmare. No. It's much worse! He'll never have a good night's sleep ever again…but that's a different story.

"Let's change that dress, Hinamori-san. It's horrible on captain Hitsugaya," Nanao pushed her glasses impassively and took a blue dress from the luggage Inoue brought from her world.

"Not that one, Nanao-chan! The color is so dull!" Rangiku screeched of revulsion.

Inoue picked out a skimpy outfit and a make-up kit from her bag. "How about this?"

Hitsugaya stared, horrified at the 'things' and was about to flash stepped out of the place when two smooth hands caressed his shaking palm.

"There. There. Shirou-chan. Don't be nervous," Hinamori soothingly patted the little captain's hands and Hitsugaya shrugged elegantly. "Okay, bed-wetter Momo"

"That is an indecent dress, Inoue-san! Burn that thing!" Nanao cried out.

Rangiku looked over the clothing and giggled. "I definitely like to see captain wearing that!"

"No! No! No! Captain Hitsugaya will not wear such a monstrous thing! Look at it! It's too revealing!" Nanao said in distaste.

"Hmmm…I like to see Nanao-chan in that…," Kyoraku scooted near his vice captain and gave her a perverted smile.

"I thought you were having a _sake_ competition today with the other captains, captain Kyoraku," Nanao kept her unwavering visage.

"Well, I see a captain here!" he pointed his way at Hitsugaya with Hinamori at his side, holding his hands firmly while the other girls berated each other about a perfect outfit. Ichigo lay lazily on the grassy field glaring at Rukia who returned it full force while Inoue was stealing glances at the orange hair protector.

The entire place is chaotic. The captains (except Hitsugaya)- like I said are preparing for a _sake _drinking competition, Ishida and Chad are drinking tea like civilized people should. The others that aren't mentioned coz the authoress doesn't know them are doing their own thing so enough with that ne?

"He's underage, captain unlike you"

"Aaa…Nanao-chan…I want to be with you…" Kyoraku whined.

"Oi! Kyoraku! If you don't get your butt here right away, your precious _sake_ is all MINE!" Kenpachi Zaraki casually shouted.

"Yup!" said a childish tone from Kenpachi's shoulder.

"Keep your hands off my_ sake_, Zaraki!" Kyoraku appeared in a blur in front of the 11th division captain and, "So what ya waitin' for? Get ready coz I'll beat your sorry butts!" he laughed wholeheartedly.

"Bring it on!"

After an hour of heated arguments, they settled with Yachiru's suggestion of pink and red silky dress. They brush Hitsugaya's cheeks with pink, a modest amount of powder and a hint of pink lip gloss.

He looked absolutely CUTE!

"KAWAII!!!!!!!!" The girls sighed happily.

Still glaring, Rukia evilly smirked and declared, "Now! Let our pretty little princess ride 'her' majestic 'pony'!" She called for Renji (who was secretly laughing and watching them) and Hanataro to help the 'fragile' princess board her protesting pony.

"Here, captain." Hanataro shyly mumbled.

"This is injustice! You are abusing animals! You should be locked in an asylum!" Ichigo complained.

"Shut up, Kurosaki. If I am degraded into a lowly princess riding her pony, you should be the pitiful animal and just be happy that you're carrying me." Hitsugaya got on Ichigo's back annoyed. Ohhh…someone's going to suffer after all these.

The females ogled at the fidgeting captain and hugged him one by one.

"I'm envious." Renji whistled taking in the scene where females showered the stoic little captain attention and affection.

Hitsugaya groaned whilst being compressed by female bear hugs.

"_I missed my paper works."_

_Stress_ is a pain that takes your soul out of your body. Yeah. But when you get a day off from all the _stress_, it blows up to your face with double force. Hitsugaya Toushiro and _stress_ are always together like 'til death do us part'. Ha! How ironic! He's already dead but _stress_ seems to haunt him forever.

He still prefers his childhood friend, Hinamori Momo than _stress_ but _stress_ is like an annoying 'fan girl' who clings to you whatever you do. Even if the 'fan girl' dies, she's going rigid coz of rigor mortis and you can't remove her from you.

**The End**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Bleach. I'm just a sucker for cute anime characters like my chibi Shirou-chan!


	2. Chapter 2

**DOFSS Sequel**

"_**Hitsugaya Wants Revenge"**_

After all the excitement and humiliation yesterday, the 10th division captain Hitsugaya Toushiro vowed to have his revenge!

Holding a long list of names, particularly shinigami/human involve in his total degradation, he hid the smirk of adrenaline surging through his veins.

Hitsugaya Toushiro won't be the _prey_ today…he will be the _predator_!

He looked over his _blacklist._

"Maybe this is too cruel for them" Hitsugaya uttered alone in his spacious office.

It appears that his vice captain is off somewhere dragging anyone to drink _sake_ with her.

Suddenly, a **memory** burned in his mind with a **twisted** notion.

Females crowded a chained and gagged white hair boy in a clinical bed and cackled maniacally in rhythm, experimenting different cosmetics at the poor helpless boy's face –cough- captain.

"Here try this one." said a deep guttural voice coming from the shadowed figure of a busty woman. (Guess who?)

"He's so cute!" another deep voice of somewhat manly but feminine voice boomed and started applying something cold on the terrified boy.

Hitsugaya shook his head vigorously and shivered.

He really needed to get back at them!

"I'm going to have nightmares."

Too late…he already had.

**The Blacklist**

**Rangiku Matsumoto**

**Renji Abarai**

**Orihime Inoue**

**Nanao Ise**

**Rukia Kuchiki**

_Not too hard, I guess. Byakuya-taichou might hunt me down for hurting his little sister. The man's so exaggerated sometimes. Okay just something that'll piss Byakuya slightly. The guy is so easy._

Hitsugaya chuckled at this.

**Yachiru Kusajishi**

**Hinamori Momo**

_Scratch that thought! Even angered about everything that had happened yesterday, Momo helped me pull through!_

Let the games begin!

7:30 am

Hitsugaya treks along the road towards the 6th division to find the vice captain of the squad and hopefully, his vice captain.

But long toward his destination, he heard the proverbial greeting of a voice and he mentally grinned evilly.

"Why hello, Matsumoto" Hitsugaya smoothly replied causing his vice captain to stared at him dumbly like a gaping carp.

"Are you sick taichou?"

"No. I'm fine Matsumoto."

Hitsugaya walked coolly and wove his goodbye to his vice captain. As he rounded the corner, a low chuckle rumbled through his system.

Matsumoto will never know what hit her.

After 5 minutes of strolling to the main office of the 6th division, a familiar shout roared throughout Sereitei.

"WHAT THE ---!!!!!"

Followed by curses that is too much for Chaomi's innocent ears and eyes that will not be mentioned in this story…apologies…but made the smug look on the small captain's face deepen.

_Matsumoto down! Five to go…_

7:45 am

The small captain of the 10th division entered the main office of the 6th division and frowned…no Renji but there's one unhappy captain glaring at him.

"Something important Hitsugaya-taichou?" the sixth division "bishounen" –drools- arched his brow sternly.

Hitsugaya kept his cool façade to match up the frigid pole of a captain and shrugged.

"Just looking for your vice captain, Byakuya-taichou."

Byakuya's face twisted into an evil smirk that Hitsugaya thought contagious. Well, where did the small captain learn being so sadistic, eh? Of course, from the famous sadist/handsome captain of the sixth!

"Revenge eh?"

"The dude deserves it, _mentor._"

"Yeah…he deserves it, _student._"

Hitsugaya and Byakuya's smirks distorted into disturbing grins…understanding shown in their eyes.

"So information will be appreciated very much, _mentor_."

"My monkey of a vice captain must be sleeping in, Hitsugaya-taichou. He has a habit of running late for his work and a grotesque fascination of toe pictures hidden inside his drawer."

"Thanks for the additional info, Byakuya-taichou."

"Thank you? I thought you know me well, my naive student. Information coming from the Kuchiki head must have a price in return."

"I already know your bad _habit_, Kuchiki-_san_…so what of your favor?"

Byakuya stood up and walked to his personal drawer. He drew something from the top shelf and threw it to the small captain.

Coz of his fast reflexes, Hitsugaya caught it with ease and gazed upon the item from the sixth captain's drawer.

The said item made the tenth division captain to laugh loudly.

"You are too cruel my _sadist mentor_."

"Renji Abarai is a pest to my little sister, Rukia. I am not a fool to not notice his attraction for my baby sister. I am merely protecting Rukia" Byakuya exclaimed in a brotherly tone.

"Is that all?"

"You will also get Abarai's gallery of toe pictures."

"The toe gallery?"

"The Shinigami Woman's Association is bugging me again of their annual calendar and I hope to give them something for their efforts, Hitsugaya-taichou."

"You are one sadistic bastard, Byakuya."

Hitsugaya stated and walked towards the exit of the sixth division main office.

Before he rounded the corner, Byakuya's velvety reply reached his hearing.

"You are too, sadistic brat."

8:05 am

At the dormitory for the sixth division squad, Hitsugaya silently slipped in the said division's vice captain's room.

He grimaced at the awful noise coming from the red hair thug of a vice captain. The snoring made his head ache.

After all the preparations, he left the place to do the end of his bargain with his sadist mentor.

8:59 am

Renji Abarai walked casually towards the main office of his squad.

While whistling an unfamiliar tune he learned from the living world, Renji stared at the guffawing shinigami.

"What's so funny, ha?!" A vein throbbed on the vice captain's temple when he inferred that the shinigami were laughing at him.

"S-s-ir." said one of the shinigami who had struggled to control her snorts of giggle. She motioned for her superior to follow her and Renji complied.

"HELL! WHAT THE ---- HAPPENED TO ME?!"

(At the same time)

"HELP! OPEN THIS DOOR! ANYONE! OPEN IT!"

Nanao Ise's trembling shouts can be heard inside a warehouse with a blue barrier.

"Oh come on…Nanao-chan"

A whiny voice of distinctly similar to the captain of the eighth echoed throughout the place.

"HELP!"

(C: Stop grinning like silly. This is a K+ fiction. –giggle-)

Where you may ask our captain is? Well, he's in the 11th division talking with the hyperactive pinkie vice captain alone.

"What's that you're holding?"

Yachiru Kusajishi asked and pointed at the item Hitsugaya's currently grasping.

"Eh? This... I asked Nemu Kurotsuchi to make it for me."

"What's it do, whitey boy?"

"It's a secret,_ pinkie_ girl."

Yachiru pouted childishly and glared at the small captain with the same intensity of a puppy's gaze.

"So you want to come with me to the human world, Yachi-girl?"

"Sure!"

"But are you going to tell your captain about it?" Hitsugaya coolly inquired.

"Nope, captain Hitsugaya! I want to go to the living world and surprise Kenny about it. I'll also buy a lot of souvenirs like busty woman did!"

"Let's go."

9:15 am (Living World)

"Wow! The houses are so big! Right whitey boy?"

Silence

"Whitey…"

Silence

"Hitsugaya-taichou?"

Yachiru turned around to find that the small captain had disappeared.

"Oh well! I can find my way on my own anyway!"

Yachiru skipped merrily on the happy and busy streets of Tokyo without any sense of direction.

9:24 am (Living World)

"Hitsugaya-taichou…why are you here?" an orange head male asked his guest in his bedroom.

"Actually, I want to inform you and Rukia Kuchiki that Byakuya-taichou like an audience from both of you."

"Did he now?" Ichigo Kurosaki said sarcastically and tapped his closet.

"Oi, Rukia! Your bastard brother wants to see us right away."

"Ichigo…don't call my brother a bastard. He's the head of the Kuchiki family so you should respect him."

"Yeah, yeah and I'm the Queen of England." Ichigo bit out and glared at the murky head girl residing in his closet.

Hitsugaya raised his brows mockingly.

"Really now Ichigo…you're the_ queen _of England?" Rukia chuckled evilly and the sunny atmosphere turned into something you see from horror movies.

Ichigo cowered against his door and looked at the two shinigami in front of him and uttered to himself.

"Sadistic bastards"

9:35 am (Soul Society)

Before they went into Soul Society, Hitsugaya excused himself and did some _important_ errand and when they appeared in the other side, the small captain once again left his two companions glaring at each other.

Hitsugaya returned after awhile and asked his two acquaintances to follow him inside the sixth division main office.

"Wait here, Byakuya-taichou will be here shortly."

Hitsugaya went away hiding a smirk.

…

"WHAT'S WRONG NOW, ICHIGO?!"

"I CAN'T OPEN THE DOOR, RUKIA!"

"WHAT?! OPEN IT YOU DOLT! OPEN IT!"

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

"Open this door right away. This is Byakuya Kuchiki! Captain of the 6th division! I demand whoever is in there to OPEN the door!"

Byakuya's thunderous banging against the door startled the two shinigami or one shinigami and the other substitute.

"Brother Byakuya HELP!"

"Rukia…" Byakuya's eyes abnormally widen at the sound of his little sister's voice and it got even wider when he heard the _other_ one's voice.

"Oi! Byakuya! Open up, you frigid pole! What's the big idea locking up Rukia and me inside your office?!"

"Kurosaki"

The word left from Byakuya's lips laced with venom.

"Get you --- out of here right this instant or I'll skin you alive!"

Byakuya unsheathed his _zanpakuto_ and whacked the door with it.

But, however strong the captain is, the blue barrier neutralized its attack into minuscule force.

From atop a house 100 feet away from the main office of the sixth squad, the small prodigy watched…amusement seen in his icy green orbs.

"Hitsugaya-chan, what are you doing up there?" a feminine voice woke the white hair captain from his daze.

The voice belongs to Orihime Inoue.

_Perfect. _

Hitsugaya looked as innocent as he could be and answered in a deceiving child-like reply.

"Inoue-chan. I'm so happy that you're here!"

"Me too, Hitsugaya-chan. I found a letter on top of my drawer awhile ago. It was from Rangiku-chan! I bet she likes our dress-up game yesterday so I bring some supplies."

Inoue showed a luggage full of whatsoever stuffs, preferably, things to torture him to a coma.

_Blasted woman! Good thing I know how to take care of you! _Hitsugaya plotted evilly.

"You know Inoue-chan! I heard that Rukia-nee and Ichigo-nii are locked up in a room _together_." He cried with false cheer.

"Ichigo…Rukia…t-together?"

"Yup! But…they're so noisy, Inoue-chan! Do you know what they are doing?"

Hitsugaya titled his head cutely and inwardly smirked. Well, Byakuya was definitely too noisy for him and also Ichigo's retorts but Inoue didn't ask him whom he referred, right?

So his conscience is clear.

Inoue's eyes began to water and Hitsugaya thought he heard a plate broke or was it Inoue's heart?

Before he can ponder about this useless dilemma, Inoue had run off crying like a ludicrous?

At least, he had unleashed the _evil_ Hitsugaya today and it felt good.

And he can sleep soundly tonight…specifically dreaming about this day.

Hitsugaya sighed and let out a genuine smile.

"Got to do my paper works again"

He casually strolled back to his beloved division and hoped that his _employees _were working in his absence.

If not…he could always unseal his darker side and scared them to their second death.

He stop for a second and stared at the fuming vice captain of the sixth division interrogating shinigami.

He stared at the **pink** haired Renji Abarai and suppressed the evil laugh caught in his throat.

Hitsugaya moved on and again stop.

He recognized that seething blonde female anywhere.

It was his vice captain…

Picking up articles of clothing from the ground and glaring openly at the broken pieces of what seemed to be once _sake_ bottles.

Icy green orbs shone of pleasure.

After awhile of striding through the hallways, he sighed blissfully as he halted in front his main office.

_Home sweet home_

"Shirou-chan!"

"Bed-wetter Momo"

"I was looking all over for you. Where were you, Shirou-chan?"

Hinamori looked at the white hair captain expectantly.

Hitsugaya shrugged elegantly and smirked.

"**Just having fun, Momo…I was stressed**."

The end…or is it?

"HITSUGAYA!"

Sereitei shook as captain Byakuya's voice boomed throughout Soul Society.

---

This is dedicated to my best friend, Cindy.

You will always be my little brother Alphonse Elric. For I, Edward Elric will always remember you.

From your best friend: Chaomi

Take care of yourself.


End file.
